OK bloggers, I need your help. My little sister just started college, and she is having roommate trouble. She is a softball player, and lives with several other softball players, although not all of her roommates are on the team. There are 5 of them, and they each have their own room, but apparently there are only two of them that clean up. As in, do the dishes, wipe up the food that is spilled, clean the bathroom, etc. They have a dishwasher too, so it's more of just putting dishes in the dishwasher.
Apparently they come home and leave their backpack, their shoes, and their socks all over the front room. I told her to get a shoe basket or something, and she said they they have one, but they won't use it. They tried creating a chore chart, so we'll see how that works. They also talked about making people pay a quarter when they don't do their jobs, and one of the girl's responses was, "Well, I can't do that because I'm broke, so I can't afford a quarter when I don't do something." Ummm.... then don't ever NOT do something, and you'll be fine, right?
I never really had this problem with my roommates because we always got along so well, and everyone just pitched in, so I don't really know what to tell her. I've suggested that she talk to the apartment management and ask to be moved to another apartment at the end of the semester, but I still hate for her to have to suffer until then. It's her first year at college, and it's supposed to be fun, not a pain. She said even all the guy's apartments are 10 times cleaner than hers. It's not just clutter either, it's dirt and gross stuff. Now I'm not the most organized person out there, and I have a lot of clutter, but I can't stand the dirt. My house might be messy, but it's not dirty!
So, I need your help! What suggestions do you have? It's not like she can just ignore them, because besides living together, they are also on the same team, and she has practice with them everyday, etc. Any tips I can share with her? Thanks in advance!
Posts
Trisha -
ReplyDeleteI was an RA in college and I've had to deal with this a few times. I can't promise it'll work, but I can suggest what I've done with my students in the past that seems to have cleared it up.
First off they have taken steps to communicate - that's good. They should probably sit down again and discuss what their definition of "clean" and "messy" are (believe me - it is sooo different between different people just ask me and my husband!).
Your sister can point out that they can keep their rooms however they want (if they are in fact private rooms...if it's campus housing the school may have certain policices on what is acceptable for health reasons)but that common areas such as the kitchen and living areas need to be kept neat not only for the respect and fairness of the other roomates but also from a health point of view. If the mess becomes "dirty" it can quickly escalate into attracting pests and bacteria that can put a kibosh on their sports if they get sick.
The chore chart is an excellent idea - and it should be set up so that chores are rotated so no one gets stuck doing something they hate all the time.
Everyone, messy and clean alike, need to compromise though and realize that the state of the apartment is not going to be the way it would if it was their own place and they were living by themselves. This means that no one should nitpick or complain about the way anyone cleans or completes their chores ("it's too organized I can't find anything!" or "that's not the right way to wash the dishes you should do it this way"). Just like in a marriage you have to learn to pick your fights and let the small stuff go.
I hope that helps a little. Good luck and keep us updated!
I had this very same problem with my roomates. Unfortunatley we tried all of those ideas and they didn't work. One thing that did work is we had a "reward" system (like we were children). Each week we would have a meeting and each roommate would have a chance to nominate one of the other roommates that they had noticed doing their part to keep things clean. Then names of those that were nominated would be put into a jar to win a cool gift. Such as a candy bar or something like that. It was great and we had no problem with roommates donating something for the drawing. It became kind of a game. I hope that helps and she is able to have a good experience. The first year makes it hard.
ReplyDelete